Rob’s Blog

Windows live writer seems to get along with my blog.  How cool is that?

Quite cool in fact, although that assumes a less than standard definition for ‘cool’

I was sitting here thinking that I sometimes,maybe a lot of the time, fail to appreciate the things that I have.   Indeed, I often ignore the good and focus in the bad.  Knowing that, however, can work as a trigger to get my mind right. So, when I notice that I am thinking that everything sucks, I try to do one of the following things:

• Stop what I am doing and breathe deeply ten times, saying with each breath either ‘breathe’ or ‘it’s OK’
• Look up from whatever I am doing and literally change my focus outward.  Look at a tree, or whatever.
• Make a mental or a real list of the things that have gone right in the last day or two.
• Take a moment to say ‘Thanks’ to the universe, or to my wife or kids or someone, to get back in the gratefulness habit.
• Last, but probably most effective, take a walk, or go to the gym for a half hour.

I know that most of this is foundational PD, and that for some it won’t seem original, but for me, it works.  It’s interesting to use the bad feelings as a trigger.  If it hurts to go like that, stop going like that, in other words.

one shudders, of course, to make a judgement about such a trivial matter, but I expect that this experiment will prove a success.

Posted from my HTC Mogul

This theme is Journalist, and I got it from the Wordpress theme directory here.  I kinda like it, but I don’t know if I’ll keep it.  It’s clean, anyway. 

The title has a double meaning, too; as I am wending my way through early fall up here in the North-land, I am trying to keep my outlook positive.  It’s a fact that I have stopped feeling so stuck, and have instead been trying to be responsible for my situation.  All is well, and that is as it should be. 

Ask me how I feel once the snow falls, and the clouds move in.  For some reason I hate that winter sunset at around 4:00 PM with thick clouds and that orange-pink flat light that seems to take away what little hope you might have.  More than that, it is a mockery of hope itself, reminding you that the winter always comes back, and everything passes away. 

See? Optimism!

But what I was trying to come up with yesterday, or earlier this week, that of a fallen leaf frozen in clear ice, seemed to have some evocative depth.  It might still, but I can’t find the right way to make it do what I want it to do.  That’s the flow state; when a few minutes of writing turns into 45 minutes or an hour trying to fit a vision or an idea into a structure.  Sometimes, like in this case, I have to let go of the idea, but it’s always worth a few minutes to see.  It’s almost like trying to put a puzzle together without seeing the picture, or, rather that the picture won’t appear until all the pieces are in place.

I know, I’m kinda awesome.  Nothing else much to report, just getting through day by day.

I think I’ll have some more to add later, maybe, becasue I’m working on a metaphor!  Spooky!

I have to say that I don’t like to describe what I am going through as a mid-life crisis, however it might be spelled.  I went to the DFL convention in Rochester this past weekend.  I had a blast, a really, really good time, but I noticed that while I could keep up with the younger folks, I am much fatigued this week.  I think I have been working too hard, at least too long, and the weekend was pretty exciting, so, there you go.  Still, I feel old and worn out this week, kind of like the exciting part of my life is well and truly over, and that all I have to look forward to is declining health, (both mental and physical) and a series of days without much to distinguish them the one from the other, until I die.  Cheery thought! 

I do look forward to watching my children grow up, and to learning new things, such as they might be, so maybe it isn’t as bleak as I think it is. 

I think I’m just tired, and that I’ll be fine after a few days.

Lousy youngsters!

I noticed something kind of jarring yesterday when I tried to research something that happened in 1985 or so back in Kirkwood, MO. One of my middle school science teachers killed another teacher in the same school and then himself, although this was after I had left.  Now, you’d think that this would be something on which something had been written, especially in light of the recent killings at City Hall there.  Papers often publish little lists of murders after a big tragedy like the most recent one, and even more so when the town in question is a “typical American suburb.”

So I did my best Google-fu and found nothing.  Not one mention that  could find.  Not surprising, when I thought about it.  After all, it was a long time ago, and teachers killing other teachers isn’t the kind of story that places like to have covered over much.

That left me with a strange feeling of disconnectedness.  If I can’t find it on the Internet, then did it really happen? I found a profound existential chasm there that I hadn’t previously expected.  What does it say about me and my reliance on the Internet for information?  I take for granted the fact that most everything that I want to know is available within minutes of opening a web browser, and when I can’t find something that I think of as relatively big, well, that threw me for quite a loop.

I have to add that I probably could find something with a Lexis-Nexis search, but that is a layer deeper than I felt I should have to go.  If it isn’t instant…

One more stinking day till the Pennsylvania Primary is over.  I can’t wait. I took a bit of a break back there a few weeks ago, but now I’ve slowly dropped back in.  Not a good thing at all. 

Even knowing that it doesn’t make a bit of difference in the big picture, I still find myself paying it more attention than it deserves.  I suppose that I should get another hobby.

On a related note, The Four Hour Work Week  did not create a new life for me as I expected it would.  I have to admit that the idea of automating my life so I can get down to some serious relaxing seems great.  But, of course, it assumes that I can actually think up a thing or things to sell (e-books!) and then sell them.  It just isn’t for me, I think. 

I am now reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence which is a good book so far, even if the narrator is crazy.  I think I’m becoming jaded, because I see Phaedrus’ search for ultimate truth as a bit naive.  It doesn’t matter what is true in some greater objective sense, because nothing is true for more than one observer.  Before you point out gravity or some other mundane aspect of what we call reality, let me say that no one can say exactly how it works, and without an explanation, I humbly submit, it can be observed, but not relied upon as true in a philosophical sense.  This does not mean it isn’t practically true, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish.

So, I took a break of about three weeks from the Presidential race. I’m very glad I did.  I worked for a local congressional campaign and went to the convention here in Minnesota’s 3rd CD.  It was a great time, full of drama and so forth, and an unexpectedly tense finish.  I have to say that Terri Bonoff was very gracious in her concession, and she handled her loss like a professional.  I expect that we haven’t heard the last of her in higher office.

Also, today I have a cold.  Grr.